Haven't been able to focus much lately, stressed and busy and not really sure what to say. Some hiccups with the move, getting it smoothed out. might have an apartment, so that's fun. Super stressed with the whole VA shit, because It won't be approved until the semester begins but I need to finalize my apartment and plane ticket now. I'll figure this out. I will. I fucking will. I'm not giving up now, I am not turning back.

on the brighter side, I was able to get a new laptop. It's the ultimate companion for my aesthetic: A Toughbook. Police/military computer. Rugged as hell and insanely versatile. LTE, Fuckers. I'm also transitioning to a phone-free life. I have a Palm Tungsten E2 pocket computer coming in. I got a Jelly Star phone: smart enough to be useful when I need it, small enough to not draw attention, packed with only the necessities. with this setup I can keep the internet a place to visit. A laptop for work and occasional fun, phone for communication and banking- and Boing Boing Animals, the best Tamagotchi app out there- and my pocket computer for notes and whatever else I need.

The stress mixes with grief. Some night I lay in bed and the shaking starts and before I realize it there's tears and I don't realize it. my mind swirls. It's really... hard right now. I'm doing this alone. But I'm good at being alone. I'm a fucking natural.